I am a teenage male who was born to two Baha'i parents; according to my
father the reason he came to the US was to practice his religion freely,
instead of pretending to be Muslim. My mother, on the other hand - everyone
knew she was a Baha'i.

After moving around a lot my then-divorced mom & dad lived in Virginia (along
with my sister and I, of course). I remember the first day I went to a Baha'i
feast: it was late at night. My dad and I went to this couple's house. As for
me, I didn't know what was going on, I just kept my mouth shut and watched.

That was my first feast. Being young, going to feasts was a pleasure, playing
with other kids my age, having a load of fun. However, there was really no
spiritual part of a feast that my peers and I participated in. In fact, if I
had to go in the living room with the adults, listening to tapes, reading
letters, and so on. I would consider that a punishment! Extremely
B-O-R-I-N-G!!!!!!

As I grew older I met and got to know more Baha'is. Then there came "Jill &
Fred" (not their real name). Jill and Fred knew a lot about the faith, but
many Baha'is (especially my step mom & dad) had problems with them going to
feasts late, etc. etc., it was even assumed by Jill that they [the Baha'is,
well 2 women to be accurate] were prejudice. I remember the reaction when my
step mom told the other woman that - she took of her glasses, wiped her eyes
and said "damn that hurts".

Anywho, thanks to my step mom, we hardly went to any feasts, in fact, feasts
were virtually eliminated from my life! It was something I enjoyed, but it
could have been a cause for why.

…I started distancing myself from Baha'is. I felt nervous around them. In
fact, I felt nervous around people in general. Anyway, I was never getting
anything about the feasts. I even FORCED myself to not go to the Ayam-I-Hah
party, my most beloved Bahá'í event. That hurt really much.

Anyway, I went to the "Reflections" Baha'i­ course, which took place at Jill &
Fred's house. I did enjoy it, and loved the quotes we studied. I was deemed
as having a "photographic memory" being able to memorize paragraphs at a time
(email me and I'll tell you my secrets). As for payment of the course, they
[the Baha'is] offered me a scholarship so I wouldn't have to pay. Now where
the fu--- (better watch my language there) did they get an @$$hole idea like
that? $%^&&$## them!!!!!

Anyways, it really is a long story. I found out my mom was Muslim and started
reading parts of the Qur'an, and I liked it. Being Middle Eastern, I wanted
to act Middle Eastern and become Muslim (note: I did not want to be Muslim to
"appear Middle Eastern").

When I got my identification card I pretended to act exited, and told my dad
I would NOT sign it in front of the Baha'is, I'm shy enough already. Well one
day my dad asked for some reason (and at the dinner table of all times!): "Do
you want your identification card?" I told him no and told him I wanted to be
Muslim. He acted calm and didn't have a coronary like I expected whew.

Anyway, reading the Qur'an I found more exited than the Baha'i writings,
which I never understand. With Islam I feel as though I am getting somewhere
in life; a path that was never carved with being Baha'i.. Baha'is donate their
money, to build what? An empire in Iran? And if there's a war those babies
are goin' down in one second. Also, as an ex-Baha'i said, Baha-u'llah does
not provide a remedy for erasing sins. But Islam does. Although I still
distance myself from other people with Islam I see a bright and future ahead
:)

P.S.: I can be reached at [email protected]